01 Jan Stepping into the New Year
Hello everyone and Happy New Year!
I am aware that I have not posted in a while, my other “jobs” are keeping me very busy for now!
I thought I would check in with you about this upcoming year. I have been struggling to get into a frame of mind that I am happy with. I do not want to use the word “positive” as that seems to exclude anything dark, introspective or “negative”.
I came up with my own End of Year and beginning of New Year ritual, and I thought I would share it with you. I really struggle to find the time to do these things, my 3 year old keeps me very busy and when I get free time I am often exhausted and just want to do nothing, or catch up with the mountain of chores.
Yesterday I felt that it was very important to make the time for this.
I made this very simple, easy and quick for myself. Amongst the mess, I made myself a nice corner in my bedroom with a candle, some essential oils and I put some nice music on. I grabbed a notebook I have been using and started to scribble down notes. I find that writing things down is very healing, therapeutic and almost magic.
These are the steps that I followed:
- 2020: a quick run through the year, I wrote down what happened, what I did, major events for me and my family.
- 2020: on the opposite page, I wrote down what these things meant to me, their impact.
- 2021: my fears! I have quite a lot so I decided to give them their own page instead of trying to brush them under the carpet. I tried to be as honest as possible and dig deep.
- Then I tried to work out where my fears really come from, my own deeply rooted “irrational” negative patterns, triggers and beliefs. For example stress or worry about a loved one’s health actually echoes a personal belief that I am somehow responsible for other people’s wellbeing. This belief constantly causes me stress, worry and anxiety.
- I chose 2 or 3 deep beliefs that I now realise are NOT true and wrote them down on separate pieces of paper. For example the belief that “I am responsible for other people’s wellbeing”. Then I burnt them in the sink, one by one, really feeling them and then letting them go. After burning each one I corrected the belief for example: “I am responsible for my own wellbeing” and “I am co-responsible for my child’s wellbeing.”
- Next I felt ready for the “nice” part, I wrote down my dreams, hopes, aspirations for 2021. I tried to think BIG in spite of the current situation we are going through. I went through all aspects of my life, work, family, health etc.
- Last step was very important to me. I wanted to work out coping mechanisms for myself for 2021. For example I noticed that the various “lockdowns” and restrictions caused me stress and worry. I worked out a strategy for myself:
- When waiting for an announcement, I will allow myself to check my phone and the news as often as I like to find out what is going on. I will accept my curiosity and the nervousness that comes up.
- After the announcement, I will be kind to myself and allow myself the time to grieve.
- I will then make myself a list of all the things that we can still do under the current restrictions.
- Lastly, I love this tip from my favourite Transformational Coach, Daniella S, I work out how I will use this time: “During this lockdown, I will use this time to…for example, rest, catch up with my admin, make up games for my son at home, do more baking, go on adventures in the local park with my son.
Throughout this exercise, the image that came to my mind was of waves going up and down. I felt that it would help me cope if I let go and allowed myself to be carried up and down by the changes or “waves”. I actually used this image to cope with the intensity of the contractions (sometimes called “birthing waves”) while giving birth to my son and during that time I kept looking at my print of the Japanese wave which really helped me.
I would love to hear how you feel about this New Year ahead and if you have found ways to approach it that help you.
Lots of love,